30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

Today I am thankful for...the right to vote.

It's finally here. This election has gotten downright nasty. Barbs, accusations, threats. It felt personal on the days when I heard I apparently was not a real Virginian because I lived in NoVa or the insinuation that I'm not a real American with real problems because I live in a city and not a small town.

But the fact of the matter is, we're all Americans. And we all have a voice. It's the beauty of living where we do. And with that right comes great responsibility. Responsibility to engage in the process and make a choice. Responsibility to respect another's right to make a different choice than you. Responsibility to come together behind whomever the next commander in chief is and work to find solutions to the very real problems that affect both democrats and republicans.

So, today I am thankful that the line only took me an hour and change to get through. I am thankful that peanut behaved relatively well during our hour long wait. I am thankful for the North Atlanta High School PTSA for having a bake sale with treats that I could bribe peanut with during those last 20 minutes when the books and coloring books weren't enough. I am thankful that I cast my ballot. And I am extremely thankful that we won't have to sit through any more negative messages.

If you haven't yet voted, get out there! You'll be thankful you did.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

Today I am thankful for...paint.

I spent the last several days painting our "keeping room." I don't really know what a keeping room is, but it's the random room next to our kitchen that we currently have set-up with our casual dining table and occasionally serves as my home office. It has desperately needed paint since the moment we moved in four years ago, but there were other rooms that were tackier and took a higher priority. Then we had a baby and weekend, DIY projects like that just fell to the wayside, along with our free time.

But it was time. Peanut and I spend a lot of time in that room eating meals, snacks, playing Play-Doh, doing projects and the tacky, wet-Band-Aid brown that had been shoddily slapped on the walls in an attempt to cover the tackier wet-cement gray-green that was underneath it was no longer cutting it. So, after a couple of trips to Home Depot, I put on my painting cap and got started.

In our house, I'm the DIY leader. My dad taught my sister and I how to paint a room the right way. We helped paint living rooms, painted our own bedrooms, repaired holes in the wall, helped choose colors. The painting in our married home has largely fallen on my shoulders. I don't mind it, really. It's so satisfying to watch a physical transformation that you are responsible for.

And that's where I am today. Basking in the glow of my accomplishment. Loving my clean, beautiful sage green walls that are aptly named, "Rejuvenate." Ahhhh.

I'm almost inspired to paint the final room in our house I haven't touched yet...the kitchen. Almost.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 2

I am thankful for...calendars.

And subtle hubbies who ask, "Did you have a reason you chose 31 days for your blog when November has 30 days?"

Um, no reason other than not thinking about how many days are in November. Oops. More proof that the pregnancy stupids never go away.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 1

I am thankful for...Date Night.

Before I had peanut, I used to secretly laugh at married couples who talked about date night. Oh how cocky I felt in my freedom. Before peanut, we did not have any need to schedule a night out. We just went out. Whenever. At the last minute. To expensive restaurants. To movies. To anywhere.

Once peanut arrived and it took me two hours to plan for our first trip out for breakfast that turned into lunch because it took so long to get these novice parents out the door with a two-week old baby, I realized how naive I had been. With family and therefore readily available and free babysitting two states away, it's been a struggle for us to commit and plan on date nights.

Luckily, we did find a great babysitter and we have friends who are also in the same boat and willing to swap sitting services, but it's really easy to settle into our homebody life and spend our free nights at home with Netflix. So, it was a lovely surprise to have the hubby tell me a week ago that we'd be going out tonight. That he had gotten tickets for a comedy show, that he'd lined up some friends to come watch peanut, that I didn't have to worry about anything other than what to wear.

And on our one weekend home together out of four weekends, it's just what we need. Some alone time. Some time together to laugh. Some time together to reconnect about something other than grocery lists, peanut's nap schedule (because we're still trying to make -up sleep from last week) and planning our next drive to NC next weekend.

Not to mention it's a great excuse to pull out those new heels I bought. Now that IS something to be thankful for.

30 Days of Thanks

Not to belabor the point, but last week's trip really caused me to stop, reflect and refocus. I've been so caught up in a lot of emotional baggage, that I finally had to threaten to charge myself the extra $15 per checked bag to encourage myself to limit the baggage to one carry on. The goal would be to fly with only the clothes on my back, but I'm starting realistic. After all, I've never been one to hop on a plane, destination anywhere, and see what happens...this is why I love to watch the Amazing Race but never send in an audition tape.

Part of this effort to find the right focus for my life is to really be mindful and grateful for the gifts I do have in my life. Peanut's post-trip, terrible twos behavior makes this even more important. It's so easy to get caught up in the tantrums, the whining, the minute-to-minute attitude changes that I might miss the giggles in between the growls.

As a result, I'm challenging myself this November to write a short post every day about something I am grateful for. Feel free to join me, if you like. Or share what you're grateful for in that day's comments.

I feel blessed that my child and the hubby provide me these moments every day and as much as I notice them, I want to really be mindful of them. Particularly as we enter this very busy holiday season.

So join me on November first...I'd be ever so grateful!

Traveling in the Breakdown Lane

Last week's trip was good for a variety of reasons. One of which was the mental breakdown I had Thursday.

What did she say? Good because of a breakdown? Well, actually, yes.

Living far away from our families has caused me a lot of guilt and self-flagellation in the two years since peanut was born. I want peanut to have close and loving relationships with all of his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. As a result, I do my best to update our family blog, send out pictures often, send out the occasional video, mail cards decorated by peanut, encourage phone conversations with peanut when possible and, of course, we struggle with what's the "right" amount of times to make the 360+ mile trip home for visits.

When this trip presented itself because the hubby was going to be at a conference for a week, I saw it as a perfect opportunity to provide our family members one-on-one visit time with peanut. Usual visits cram as many large-scale family dinners or get togethers in as possible and I always feel that what gets lost in the festivities is any real chance for anyone to get to know our incredibly funny and engaging little guy. So I let everyone pick a day. I scheduled and planned and as a result, I ran myself ragged.

By Thursday, I was so physically exhausted from the driving and the sheer weight of dealing with a toddler's schedule in flux that I quite lost it. It wasn't my proudest moment. When my mom came home from work, I was in tears. A bowl of chicken soup and quite a few hugs from both mom and dad later, I was good. More than good. I realized that the guilt was too much for me to handle. I had to let it go. I had to realize that I was doing everything in my power to create relationships for peanut and that I can physically only do so much. Most importantly, I had to realize that I can't change it. I can't change that we live far away. I can't pretend that we don't. I can't pretend that it's easy. Sometimes, I have to realize that I just can't.

This is something that my dear hubby has been telling me for a long time. This is something that I thought I had done. But once it's truly gone, once you really, honestly let go? Wow. I physically feel lighter, freer. And with the holidays approaching, it couldn't have happened at a better time. Who needs a side of guilt with their pumpkin pie when whipped cream is a much better complement?

The strange thing is that most of my friends are also raising their children at some distance from their families. For some, it's only one or two hours away, or one or two states. For others, it's nearly a continent. We're all raising great kids who know, love and respect their families. I know there are probably families who live only a short driving distance away from each other and don't see each other often - I just assume physical proximity breeds close relationships. Not always the case, I'm sure.

So I'll continue to do what I can - peanut will continue to kiss his family night-night via pictures hanging in his room, he'll continue to produce art work for refrigerators everywhere, he'll keep "mashing" stickers on family birthday and holiday cards, we'll keep telling him funny stories about his relatives, we'll continue to involve him in the gift selection process for various occasions, and we'll make the trip up for Christmas.

And when it's too much? When we have to make a tough decision? I'll feel badly, but I won't feel guilty. That's a trip I refuse to take again.

Just to be the Mom Who Drove 1,000 Miles to Fall Down at Your Door

(Sorry if that silly Proclaimers song is now stuck in your head. Oops.)

I'm back. Physically, anyway. Mentally, I'm still trying to get back on track.

Wow. What a week. Remember how I said it was going to be a relaxing week? Well, I take that back. The trip was full of lots of activity that translated into lots (and lots and lots) of time in the car between where my folks live now and where everyone else lives in the Triangle (our total mileage for the week between the round trip from Atlanta to NC and all our driving in between was 1,098. I felt a little queasy when I added that all up.). Peanut did not take a lot of naps and was also up early each morning. We're still trying to rectify the sleep deficit. Just when I think we're doing better we have a tired-induced meltdown about which bib he's going to wear during lunch. Fun, fun, fun!

Some highlights of our trip:

• New nicknames: Peanut's "little funky," his Uncle J's "big funky."
• Indoor bounce houses. Giggles (and sore glutes) all around.
• Cousins holding hands.
  
• Playing guitar with his Opa.
  
• Peanut totally losing it at lunch with Nana and Aunt M. Nothing like witnessing and dealing with your toddler's worse meltdown in months. In front of your mother-in-law. In public.
• Peanut peppering his Nana with kisses (post-meltdown, post-grilled cheese ingestion).
  
• Squeezes for EVERY ONE!
  
• Flirting with all the ladies at Grandma's office.
  
• Hand prints in clay with Gran Pam.
  
• Restaurant booth Olympics with Aunt J and his other Uncle J.
• Story time with Grandma.
  
• Tickle time with Grandpa.
  
• "Bye-bye, sweetie."
  
• Mama Dip's.
  
• New toys.
  
• Cupcakes.
  
• Play dates with college gal pal's little ones (really, could Izzie and Jonathan BE any cuter, ladies?! Carolina girls make adorable babies!).
• Seeing peanut's eyes light up after a week away from the hubby.

It was a long trip, in more ways than one. But for right now, we're just glad to be home in our own beds, in our own routines, all three of us back together. Exactly where we should be.