Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Yes, I'm still sick.

I thought I was feeling better Friday, so I didn't call the doctor. Apparently that was a false alarm and I had to suffer through the weekend before I could call Monday morning. Started antibiotics last night for whatever sinus/chest infection is plaguing me and am laying on the sofa just waiting for them to kick in and kick this crud's ass.

Being this sick for this long has been enlightening. It's been a hard lesson for a mommy who takes care of everything else to need caring for. I've had to turn a blind eye to the dust and clutter building up because I only have so much energy or patience to clean. I've had to let go of the TV guilt when I pop another video in to occupy the peanut so I can simply sit still. I've had a hard time reconciling being mommy when all I want is my own to take care of me.

And this thing has officially reiterated that I'm married to a saint. Not only did the hubby instantly take care of making dinner last week and taking on a few of the evening tasks that I normally do (in addition to the bath and bedtime routine for peanut that he typically heads up), but he's been a great nurse. He also took the lead on babysitting for some friends when I didn't want to expose their little one to my (and now peanut's) germs on Saturday. We typically go over as a pair until the little one is asleep and then one heads out with peanut. But he didn't hesitate about going solo and handling an evening with a 14-month old little girl. He officially made sainthood when he started to get the sore throat Sunday night and I had a meltdown that I can't have him sick when I can't seem to get better and he didn't chastise me for my selfishness or irrational behavior, although both reactions would have been warranted. Instead, he continues to listen to my incessant complaining.

Which, this post is apparently turning into. One more complaint about how I feel like crap and just want to feel better (really, how many doses of amoxicillin will it take before I start to feel it?). So I apologize. One of these days I will be back to myself. I much prefer when my me time is actually spent on something productive, not wondering if my cough is.

Thank you for your messages of support and get well wishes. I do appreciate them. And I will work on stopping the wallowing. I'm pretty sure the antibiotics will help clear that up, too. I hope.