Friday, March 20, 2009

New Season, New Attitude

Ah, spring. The cherry blossoms are blooming (and so far, I'm not hacking as a result...fingers crossed), the pear trees delicate blossoms are floating in the air like snow, the sun is relatively warm, the world looks brighter, the grass is starting to turn green again, the birds are chirping and making nests in our trees.

Spring is like one big sigh for me. An exhalation of a pent up winter in turtlenecks, boots, scarves and blah emotions. You can't help but feel like spring is a new beginning.

So today, I am going to take a deep breath and be the calm parent. The even keel parent. The softly spoken mother. Instead of the screaming, raving banshee I feel I've become the last few weeks.

Peanut's "rest time" has quickly devolved into a sick game of toddler mountain climbing where he ends up on top of his dresser tossing lamps, sound machines and baby monitors. As a result, my fear wells up and I yell. I scream at him not to climb up there. That it's dangerous. As if I could scare him into behaving or understanding how not safe that is. Why don't you listen to me? - and other similarly useless on a two-year-old phrases have escaped my lips during our attempts at rest time until I finally give up, feeling spent, guilty and useless.

Thank goodness for some of my mommy friends with older boys who gave me a much needed pep talk last night. There is nothing like knowing I'm not crazy, I'm not the only one and that this too shall pass.

So today, on this first day of spring, after a lovely morning at the park with friends, a workout and a vitamin D fix, I've committed to not yelling. No more. It doesn't work anyway and just makes everyone feel bad. More deep breathing. More letting it go. More focus on fun times while we're having them not anticipating the rest time struggles to come. More trial and error in finding the boundary setting that works (time outs, not so much; toy withholding - we might be onto something).

We'll see. It can't hurt.

You know what they say, hope springs eternal. I think a mother with a toddler who wouldn't nap must have coined that one.

3 comments:

Goddess in Progress said...

Man, alive. There's something about the end of winter and toddlers. I've been losing my shit and yelling all week with my kids. I feel constantly on edge, and I feel like they just keep pushing every single one of my buttons. Driving me bonkers! I'm hoping the sunshine and warmer weather will help all of us...

Loukia said...

Hello! I love your blog! :) And you know what, I recently made a deal with myself too, to not yell so much... to not sweat the small stuff with my 2 boys... it's just not worth it, you know? ;) Good luck to you and of course I'll be back to read more!

Heather said...

The desire to end the yelling must be rampant. This weekend was my first weekend at home by myself with the kid (I should note that the husband has been left at home alone with him for quite a few weekends). After a disasterous Friday, I sat down with him Saturday morning and asked him to help me think of a way that he could listen better and I could be less of a raging lunatic. He gave it some thought, then said "You know Mommy, it would help if you said please."