The Dreaded New Year's Resolution

I was trying to explain New Year's resolutions to peanut yesterday at which point he announced he'd be playing more trains in 2010.

Way to set yourself up for success, kid.

It got me thinking, though, about those dreaded resolutions and how many of us tend to set ourselves up for failure. Whether it's the gym, weight loss, kicking a bad habit or, in my case, writing every day, there's a reason most of us have broken our resolutions by Valentine's Day. Peanut might be onto something when he resolved to do something he could easily accomplish.

After neglecting this space for nearly a month, neglecting my writing for more than 10 months and overall neglecting my mental self, I knew any resolution to blog more, write more, be more would surely be broken by the demands of my kids, trips to Target and life's more mundane obligations.

So I'm trying a different tactic this year.

I resolve, in 2010, to be more selfish. Whether that means I write, I exercise, I schedule that massage or simply take a bath, I resolve to take time for me. I know it's vague and could be easily lost, but my biggest problem is standing up for myself when it comes to my own time. I, like many moms, often put my own wants and desires on the back burner in order to accommodate the other members of this family. This resolution will certainly not put a halt to that, nor would I want it to - caring for this family is my job right now and I aim to do it as best I can - but it allows me the opportunity to visibly show my family that I need to focus on the me that isn't mom for a little bit.

By resolving to address the root of the problem, the writing and the loss of the baby weight and that massage will come a little more easily. If anything, it gives me a voice that I can take ownership of. "Me time" is something, like "date night," I never thought I'd have to schedule into my life, but if that's what I have to do, I'll do it. Luckily, the hubby already tries to give me time to myself, but readily agreed to the selfish plan for this year (a sign that maybe he sees a bit of my mental sanity cracking under the pressure of the two kid adjustment?).

So 2010 is the year where I dust off those metaphorical high heels a bit more often and remember how good it feels to be in them. And if in the course of trying a few old pairs back on I realize they don't fit anymore, I'll happily use that selfish time to find a few new pairs.

After all, if the shoe fits...

Happy 2010! May it be filled with joy, peace, comfort and whatever version of high heels you need in your life.