Where's My Cake?

Today marks the one year birthday for High Heels and High Chairs.

And I'm still here! I have to admit to being a little surprised. My expectations were vague when I started HH&HC. I wanted somewhere to voice my feelings, maybe get some advice/validation, keep up my writing chops. I wasn't really sure if anyone beyond my family would read it. I wasn't even sure if they would - okay, I knew my mom would because she's a good mom and thinks everything I do is wonderful (except that little detail of living 350 miles away, I doubt she thinks that's wonderful...but she's such a good mom, she doesn't tell me so!).

After a year, I still feel like a total novice to this blogosphere and sometimes wonder if I'm doing it "right." The good news is that real-life friends will occasionally tell me that they liked/identified with/laughed at a particular post or a newly made bloggy friend will comment (and I eagerly click to see what you say) and that makes all the am-I-even-making-sense-does-anyone-care worry all worth it. And, frankly, makes me feel like I'm not totally crazy in my motherhood adventures. There's safety in numbers, you know?

Here are some of my random thoughts/rants/concerns/worries/whatever after a year of blogging:

• I write a lot about some of the same issues/themes that I will roughly describe as: living far away from our families, when peanut is sick, when peanut gets hurt and I feel like a less than stellar mom, angst about whether I'm still worthy now that I don't earn a paycheck, the second baby question, the Red Sox, the Tar Heels, peanut's future audition material for Last Comic Standing.
  
• I still feel like I'm an exchange student at Blog High School - where did she get those cool buttons? Who gives out those fun awards? How many readers is a solid amount? Are the things I think funny actually funny, or am I the only laughing? Is there something in my teeth?
  
• I'm sometimes surprised at the posts that get the biggest reaction, from comments both online and in person.
  
• I'm always surprised (and honored) when I discover I'm on someone's blogroll.
  
• I often ask the hubby if a post sounded too self-indulgent and then I remember this is my blog so I can be as self-indulgent as I want, right? So, hah!
  
• Oh, I didn't mean it. Come back, read me, love me, click on my ads!
• What exactly is the High Heeled Mama/High Heels and High Chairs brand? Am I staying true to whatever I think that is?
  
• Are you still here? Read me, read me, read me!
  

Okay, so admittedly there is a bit of Sally Field desperation about my looking back (do they like me? Really, really like me?), but, in all honesty, I just like having a little corner of the world, my own text box that I fill up a few times a week with random thoughts, a place that is truly only mine. Sure, I write about the hubby and peanut here, but the space, the words, the craziness -- all mine. And as a mom, sometimes that's all you need - something uniquely yours and no one else's.

So thank you, world wide web, for providing me that outlet and introducing me to some really fabulous other voices out there (that, unfortunately, I am not going to link to because I will inevitably forget someone and feel bad about it later and it's my party and I'll link if I want to) and becoming a conversation starting point for me/other moms/the hubby and I.

Bottom line, I think I'll stick with it. Just as my peanut continues to grow and discover, I look forward to seeing how this blog evolves and what I discover about myself along the way. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting and I'll be sure to save you a piece of the virtual birthday cake.

In my mind, it's shaped like a high heeled shoe, served with a good glass of wine and shared with friends. Enjoy!