Thursday, February 21, 2008

Double Jeopardy?

Something's in the water.

I've written before about how I don't think we're ready to add to our family with baby number two yet...but I'm starting to feel the peer pressure.

I recently learned that two people I know who had their first babes around the same time I had peanut are pregnant with numero dos. And two of my college gal pals with slightly older children are due in the next few months with their second course. And two mommies I've met in the last year who have little ones under age 18 months have recently announced their pregnancies. I'm surrounded by pregnant women! All who have done this before and seem super excited to be doing it again. So why don't I feel "ready?" Is it bad that I'm enjoying being my pre-preggo size again? What's wrong with me? And how do you know when you're ready for another?

It seems like a totally different decision as the first time around. The first time, it's a little bit of a leap of faith that "now" is the "right" time. You've never been a parent and everyone you know continues to tell you throughout your pregnancy that you have no idea what it's really like until the kid arrives. You've never been pregnant before, so a lot of the focus is centered on you and your body. There is all the research and the shopping and the newness of everything.

Considering having another should be easier, I would think. You have a reasonable expectation of what pregnancy is like, even if the second time is nothing like the first. You have all the gear and can be much more realistic about what you would really need.

But, and this is where I stumble on a very big BUT, this time we won't be alone. I'm already mommy to someone and that brings in two times the issues. How do you get through the physical challenges of pregnancy while chasing a toddler? How do you make the first child understand/feel comfortable/welcome the new baby/attention getter? Where would I physically put this hypothetical second child and all their gear in my house that is already taken over by Little People, picture books, blocks and stuffed toys?

I suppose it's another leap of faith. Luckily, the hubby and I agreed no discussing number two until age two, so I've got some time to just enjoy my peanut before contemplating his need for a sibling.

Until then, I'll stick to bottled water, thank you.

2 comments:

Goddess in Progress said...

A good friend of mine is going through the same thing. Her son is now 2 1/2, and it seems like everyone she knows (who all had their first at the same time she did) either is pregnant or already has a second kid. But she loves the life she currently has, and is really torn. She likes the idea of not having an only child, but is in no rush to go through the infant thing again... Can't say as how I blame her.

kgrampley said...

Don't sweat it. You will totally know when it's time for #2. I had all the same feelings -- how will I manage a pregnancy with a toddler running around, and better yet, how can I possibly love another child as much as my little ladybug. I still struggle with that second part, and I may not fully realize it until #2 is actually here. I do know that this second pregnancy has been just as wonderful as the first, and it's so amazing to see how #1 is completely starting to realize "brodder" is coming. You'll definitely know when it's time to take the leap.