Sunday, May 10, 2009

Is Forever Enough?

It's so easy to get mired down in the day-to-day minutia of motherhood that it's sometimes hard to define being a mom. Sure, I'm nurser of boo-boos, cooker of meals, player of games, changer of diapers, chauffeur to play dates and playgrounds, planner of activities, reader of stories.

But today, on Mother's Day, as I look at peanut becoming an independent child and really not my baby anymore and feeling the early flutters of this new life inside of me, I am reminded that being a mother is so much more and so much harder to describe.

For me, motherhood is true, simple, undying, imagination-stretching love. Love that knows no bounds, no obstacle, no end. This morning, I was snuggling peanut and covering him with tickles and kisses, telling him I loved him. He told me, "No mommy, stop loving me." I know he was simply trying to get me to release him so he could get back to building his tent in the pillows. I told him mommy will never stop loving you. I may have let go of my physical hold on him so he could get back to the business of play, but the emotional hold...that started growing the moment they cut the umbilical cord and has gotten stronger by the minute.

So today, to all you mothers and children of mothers, I give you a song that is special to my heart (yes, I'm entitled to be totally cheesy on Mother's Day - it's in the Mom's Handbook, didn't you get one?). This song always seemed to comfort peanut as a newborn after our 5pm feeding and before the hubby got home from work. We'd stand in the living room, swaying until he'd drift off and I'd settle onto the sofa with him in my arms, breathing in his warmth, stroking his hair and just loving him. Many a night the hubby would come home from work and find us this way wondering why I hadn't just put him down in the crib or the bassinet. But those early evening snuggles were a special place where I could just marvel at peanut and contemplate the mother I was only beginning to become.

I'm still evolving, but this song brings me back to those moments of peaceful, loving contact of just mother and child:

Lullaby

Happy Mother's Day.

7 comments:

SjS said...

I love this song too. I sang it every night when I would put my son to bed. I would get choked up every night and I still do - whenever I hear it. Happy Mother's Day!!

Jennifer said...

So sweet! My 2nd is already starting to push me away, and she's only 14mths!

Loukia said...

So sweet... and so lovely, this post. So very true...

rachel-a southernfairyale said...

i love, love, love this song!!!
Such a sweet post, I understand it completely!!!

and I am giggling that my word ver is 'slytot'

;-0

SjS said...

Oh yeah -I forgot... Forever is NOT enough!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

A belated Happy Mother's Day to you!

ModernMom said...

Just stumbled over here courtesy of Loukia. Hope you don't mind that I leave you a comment to tell you I think this is a beautiful beautiful post!