At Least It's a Short Month

Imagine, if you will, a cozy bed. It's cold, probably snowing, outside, but you're snug and warm. Perhaps you nestle down in your little nook of the world a little deeper, relishing the drowsiness, uncommitted for the moment, a sigh slipping through your nose as you drift back into a dreamy state of bliss.

When...

*BAM*

Some jerk pulls you out of your bed, holds your ill-dressed for the cold weather body over the frozen snow to see if you're casting a shadow while flash bulbs blind your sleepy eyes. You are then thanked for your service and shoved back into your hole to sleep off the rest of winter.

Thanks, dude, but I'm pretty much awake NOW.

Unlike Punxsutawney Phil, I have not been sleeping away the winter, but the hustle and bustle of the holidays and our subsequent busy January lulled me into a similar false sense of security. Strange since busyness is the antonym of lull, but the constant treadmill distracted me. Now that February has reached its cold hands to rouse me from my bed, I've been feeling a little stuck, a little like when you can't get back to sleep at 3 AM because your mind is racing ahead of you into the day while the minutes tick by at seemingly half speed in the red digital display of your bedside clock.

I came back from DC inspired, eager, ready. A week later, I'm confused, frustrated and paralyzed. The difference? February brought back routine.

We're back to the normal grind and with it the normal time sucks. I feel the tug of new ideas in the midst of my day and find myself telling them to take a back seat, that I'll deal with them later. Unfortunately, later hasn't turned up yet. It's going to take hard work, on all our parts, to make changes so that mama has some time to allow these ideas to take root and grow. I take the time with my kids to allow them to experience their environment, make discoveries, master a new skill, shouldn't I give myself the same space?

Although February snuck up on me, and poor Phil, I'm hoping to channel this frustration into change. After all, Phil didn't see his shadow. Maybe that means things will be blossoming soon for both of us.